If you want to get rich quickly, just get married to a rich man, they say. And then what, I ask.
So one of my colleagues recently took this, in his column, to a whole new level. According to his argument, college girls spend their four years of tertiary education living double lives. That college girls spend 50% of their time studying and 50% looking for rich men. That their partaking university education is just but to gain the status of having stepped into a lecture hall. All for the in-laws to one day refer to them as "my brother's 'educated' wife"... And as you can imagine, he went on and on about a bunch of other derogatory statements.
I read the article and thought, 'how rich coming from a guy who works with me in the same office!' No offense, man.
Funny how most men perceive the average woman. If it's not the double standards that come with expecting the woman to be some kind of super woman who fixes everybody's breakfast in the morning and still leave the house for the office at the same time with the hubby and the kids... and then be home at five to fix everybody's life and still have the energy to please her man when the lights go off and the kids are fast asleep; then it's the over-the-board expectation of wanting the boardroom woman to produce supernatural results at work!
Sad part is that should this kind of "super woman" hire a nanny/house help/maid [or whatever you call them], the society would critisise her; call her high-maintenance, even lazy, bluh, bluh, bluh...!
Somebody catch me, 'cause I'm about to bash the chauvinistic sons of fellow women (and that's me being polite, as you can imagine what I might have said out loud)!
I mean, I've been around a while and know that this is an exhausted topic of discussion and one that irks every single woman who has a reserved seat in the boardroom. But can I just linger a bit on my colleague's point that the average woman would rather get married to a rich man and be equally rich by virtue of being the rich man's wife than sweat for their own?
He adds that the unfortunate part about the whole concept is that ten years down the line, the former classmate might not be as 'hot' as she used to be in college. She still drives the car the rich hubby bought her. However, unlike back in college when she'd drive her girls to the mall and shop her life away in the hot wheels the rich [then] boyfriend had bought her (probably a red hot sports car), now she probably drives some huge family car (an Avanza, a Probox or even a mini-van), because she has to drive the kids to and from school... and, and, and... Makes you wonder; whatever happened to the promises of getting her house helps, drivers, etc!
Ok, stop! Everybody, just shut up!
One; what makes you think every "average woman" or college girl thinks like that? I know I wasn't 'cause I never really went through "the college life". Well, because I became a mommy by the time I joined the university. So I went through the "college years" as a busy student, single mom. Had to accomplish everything I wanted to do for the day between 7am and 5pm. Can't be easy studying in a two-bedroom house you share with a fellow college girl who hates your guts and acts like having a baby while still in college is a sin punishable by slaughter! Oh well, that too, passed! I wonder what became of her, really. I'd like to meet her again and genuinely smile and tell her that it's because of her kind that I have always striven to be the best I could ever be.
Any-who... back to the subject matter here. My colleague is of the opinion that girls have it easy since they can always get married to rich men while the best of the male classmates sweat for the Cum-Lauds. Problem with that, he says, is that ten years down the lane, he'd be driving his own car, living in his own house, probably has his own business (a law or IT firm, maybe). Meanwhile, his former classmate who got married to the rich man would be driving her husband's car, living in her husband's house, works (if at all) for her husband, takes care of their children... and does a whole lot of other things linked to her hubby's money. Nothing would be in her name. If it happens to be, the hubby would have put it there.
And you have to be a very vindictive mama to claim property that is in your name.
I agree with him to some extent that yes, there are women who reason like that. Begs the question why women would fuss over gender equality when most are literally at the mercy of their hubbies' wealth.
Well, here's something to write home about; think of how good it would feel to show a man the door to your house because you own that shit! Think about how hard it would be for a guy to bullshit you because you don't owe him jack! Think about how tough it would be for a guy to take shit from you just because you are his boss! Think of how good it would feel to tell a guy to man up or move on all because you are in control of your life! Think about how comfortable you would be in future through your own sweat... then tell me if you would not want to work hard in school!
Ladies, I know this is a cliché but girl, do you really want a man to toy around with you in the name of endless business trips? Do you want to be stuck in a marriage with a cheating hubby all because you do not have anywhere to go or anyone to turn to because he made you drift apart from friends and family (because "they are pesky"?) And for what? Because you depended and still depend on him, Missy!
Like they say, if you do not like something about your life, be it your appearance or whatever, do something about it! Equally, if you do not like the financial state in which you are at the moment or been in all your life, strive to change it. But whatever you do, please do not solve your financial problems by getting married to the rich man. You'll regret it!
Watch Tyler Perry's "Diary of a Mad Black Woman" if you don't believe me!