The Checklist!

The Checklist.

"You're trying too hard!" mama said, with this hard but caring look in her eyes. She said, "Baby, not everybody ever gets the men/women of their dreams in life, especially when we have "the checklist", (gesturing the quotes).

At that time, all she had to say was a waste of my time, because I felt as if she wasn't getting it!! I just wanted to do things my way by sticking to my checklist!

But now...

See, when you're in love so deeply with someone then they turn out to be bad apples and break your "sweet-good-boy/girl-heart", you always want to look back and ask yourself what could you have done so bad that they had to pay you back with such a slap on the face?

But one thing you never stop to figure out is that they probably didn't hurt you 'cause they intended to but because they wanted to deal with their own personal issues. You may or may not agree with me on this one, but I can tell you this; people don't cheat 'cause their partners aren't good enough or anything close to that sort of reasoning, but they're rather (90% of the time) trying to prove a point to themselves (topic of another day). They're trying to prove that they are capable of getting their own "checklist chick/guy"... just for the thrill of it.

Point is, the moment you start keeping a/the "checklist", then you're in total chaos. You'll have complicated your life in a way that could get you sunk in a deep pit of depression.

First of all, what's a "checklist"?
A checklist is the kind of list that most people create in their minds consisting of the kind of qualities their dream life/fantasy partners should have. Most women (and some men) do this.

The problem with having a checklist and getting dumped at the end of the day's that it makes you start thinking less of who you've always thought you really were. First and foremost, when the best of us make this list, we always raise our inner self-worth that expect everybody that cares to stick around to condone with. And when this doesn't happen, we start looking for other ways to fill that gap. Trying so hard to fill this gap of wanting to fit in other people's perfect evaluation of you, could lead to a crazy habit of constantly wanting/needing attention from others or always waiting for a compliment from somebody... anybody for that matter.

Now don't you think that when you start behaving like this, you're trying to fit in someone else' "checklist" that they've designed for you?

Haven't you heard many a times when your friends look at someone (the men), and go like,
-"Wow, that chick's hot... look at that booty! But her chest looks like a 14-year old's. I like big boobs!", or,
-"Dang, she looks hot but I wish she were a little taller than that!" etc...

Dude, I got news for ya; unless I got a bottox in at least 50% of my entire body, there's an 80/20% chance that I'd have a cute apple-booty (that I do have... lol) and have Tyra's boob size plus height, plus long legs, beautiful smile, plus nice hair...etc, etc, etc...! So air-brushed!

Tell you what, the average girl on the streets could never have the entire package; apple-booty, massive boobs, tiny waist, long legs, tall (enough to fit your checklist) nice natural hair, and much less, pretty! C'est impossible!
Chances are, she's drop-dead gorgeous, sweet smile, tiny waist, nice booty, hair weave, enough make-up, fake nails, a handful of boobs to go with and SUPER short in height and very very bitchy in her personality.

*Check out the pretty actresses on TV; they hardly have boobs to show off, but they'll have more than enough boobs to show off on the red carpet*

And for the Ladies, you'll hear stuff like;
-"Oooh! Look at that chest! I wonder how many hours he spends in the gym every week!" or,
-"Damn, I like his physique, his sense of fashion (that's if he's not wearing a pair of jeans and hoodies daily), he smells just perfect, his smile is contagious. Dang, look at the way he walks, those lips, his hands, his car.... etc... but his height spoils things!" They say...

Girl, you just described Boris Kodjoe, Idris Elba and Vin Diesel or any other hot bodied dude you see on TV.
Bang!!!! Right there! You've just created Mr. Perfect in your mind. The kinda guy you'll hardly walk past on the streets 'cause chances are, he's got the most perfect physic you've EVER landed, he smells nice, his sense of style is on point, his job and "paper" side of life is all settled... etc..., but he's not the kinda guy you would want to be seen with in public (if you know what I mean).

Point is, the moment you stop looking for Mr/Miss Perfect, you'll land yourself an angel straight from heaven. Doesn't really mean that you have to settle for less, but you have to stop TRYING TOO HARD to look for the kinda chick/guy who fits your checklist 'cause babe, he/she doesn't exist!!!

Trying too hard would also mean you're making it too obvious that you're hunting for a Mr./Miss Perfect. And guess what, you might end up not getting this checklist partner as they're either taken or gay; and chances are that you might end up single for the rest of your life, all 'cause you want your checklist partner or nobody at all... or worse, settle for a jerk 'cause your biological clock's timed out!
Ha ha! The joke's on you, dear!

Throw away that Checklist and stop hunting for Mr./Miss Perfect as Mr./Miss Right is still baking in God's oven and he/she shall be delivered to your ''doorstep" one of these days!

Almost said "good luck" but I know you don't need it 'cause you're a Firework. Show 'em what you got baby:)

Till next time,

Xo xo,

Vee.