Pledge your loyalty!

Well, let's just say; boy meets girl, boy likes girl, but boy is girl's girlfriend's boyfriend. Only, that boy claims to still be single even though girl's girlfriend is crazy about him!
Ok, I hope you got that straight. But if you didn't, let me break it down for you;
Your girlfriend tells you about this guy she's crazy about, introduces you to him at a house party, the next thing you know is that your friendship is threatened a few days later, and she's breaking up with this guy and guess what, YOU are in the middle of it all amongst their prior issues.

The moment this guy finds out that you've told your friend about what had happened between you and him, he tries to come out of it clean but in the dirtiest way ever! So your friend notifies you that they've broken up and you can't stop feeling horrible about the fact that you are partly responsible for their breakup.

What do you do?

This is coming from the friend you truly care about and would take a bullet for. But guess what, she's just lost trust in you and you can't stand that reality and the looming idea of losing your best friend over some random guy who's arrogant, disrespectful and downright a baby in his big boy skin.

I've have found myself in this situation in the past but at that time, my friend and I both knew that it was a plain huge test of our friendship. She was mad at me and blamed me for what had happened to her. But how could I blame her? And to be honest, I blamed myself more. I felt that I could have subconsciously led her man on while at the party where the best of us were pretty wasted by the end of the night.

When you face a situation like this, you need to find where your loyalty lies. Of course you'd say that it lies with your friend, but what IF you wouldn't want to give every detail of whatever happened that night in fear of hurting your friend's feelings and probably losing your credibility in the process...?
Well, this is the time you would have to learn the concept of "Loyalty vs Truth Anatomy". It is my own way of explaining that whatever it is am about to tell you may not entirely be true for the consideration of your feelings, but then again, it's all because I want to be loyal to you as a friend and not do anything unaccounted for behind your back, and still keep the faith of you believing in every word I say because am your trusted friend. Twisted as it sounds, it is a remedy for a friendship worth saving.

Having trouble relating to this? Put yourself in that shoe: Well, look at this way, what IF your man and your friend kept this secret long enough up to the time the two of you get married then BOOM!, the cat creeps out of the bag! What would you do? Would you still be friends with her? Would you still trust your man, or her? Wouldn't you feel cheated and made a fool out of for so long? So isn't it even better that you found out before it went too far?

Pledging your loyalty may mean lying just a little... but as they say, whichever way you look at it, a lie is still a lie; more or less hurtful. How about you give your friend the benefit of the doubt the next time you judge them without weighing both sides of the story, whether justified or not, you might want to put yourself in their shoes and try to work out how you would have come up with a suitable way to tell them that the person they think so highly of is a fake just like the best of all of them you know and that you know it for a fact because you were a part of the "fake" process. Ouch!

Friends should always find a way to deal with whatever, right? They should know each other well enough to know what's the worst that could happen if ever something were to threaten their friendship, right? But wouldn't you be expecting too much from your friend, wanting them to believe your story instead of the truth? But considering how you relate with your friend, that could be a hustle.

If you bail after the first test of your friendship, then you were never really REAL friends in the first place. It would mean that your friendship was never really based on the right foundations which should typically be; love, trust, compassion, the willingness to go an extra mile to solve each other's problems and be ready to listen.

And hey, you might want to give your friend as much time as they need to get over the fact that their boyfriend tried to cheat on them with you. It isn't a pretty thing to find out that the guy in whose eyes you've been able to see your unborn children has deceived you in the most hurtful way!

Pledge your loyalty, ask for forgiveness and back off, let your friend heal. If your friendship is strong enough to see past this, then lucky you. But if it isn't then too bad. Find a way to move on with a clean conscious knowing that you did the right thing by letting the cat out of the bag yourself before injury time instead of someone else finding the suffocated cat dead inside the bag, and having to tell the story from the beginning about how the cat got inside the bag in the first place...

IT ain't easy. But it's worth a try... if your friendship is worth it, that is.

X o X o,
Vee.